Recently, a guy was complaining about how a particular lady he likes so much turned him down because they have been very close friends for a long period. This closeness over the years has made the lady start seeing the guy as a brother and for this singular reason she won’t be able to date the guy.
This is one of the many experiences I get everyday of ladies saying a guy who had become so close to them has automatically turned their brother, placing them in a zone known as ‘brother zone’. Unfortunately a few guys have started joining the trend placing ladies in ‘sister zone’ ..
This brings me to a very important issue I will like to address. How reasonable is it not dating a guy or a lady because you see him as a brother or sister ..
I will be writing from a guy’s point of being placed in a ‘brother zone’ while of course my thoughts here can also be seen from the ladies angle …
For one thing , I think it’s the best feeling in the world if you get to date some body very close to you. If we were in a society where it’s cool to date a family member, some of us will probably be dating a family member because of the closeness.
You already know each other in and out that the period for getting to know each other is already thrown out and of course there is genuineness in the character display of both parties because there was no intentions or whatsoever while getting to know each other .
For another thing, it makes the relationship easy to operate. The guy already knows what the lady likes and dislikes, wants and don’t want, and it’s easier to abide by them because he is used to them over time .
Yet another reason is the fact that the guy will not want to do what will hurt the lady due to the fact they have been coming a long time as friends not just as a lover now, of course we attach so much importance to how we treat our friends. Then, in the event of any hurtful actions, it’s easier to resolve when you are dating a very close friend. It’s always fun dating a close friend .
Some ladies will argue that he already knows all their secrets and they know his, hence he is too close. Last time I checked, keeping secrets from each other destroys relationship. So knowing each other’s secrets is a plus to the relationship as this will eliminate any traces of suspicion and hidden activities and encourage openness.
To borrow the words of Adekunle Gold, “na only me my mama born“, in other words I know my brother when I see him. So in all seriousness, I am not your brother and you not my sister so why close the door to a wonderful opportunity that could last a life time .
My sister, when next you have the chance to date a very close friend who you feel is a brother, please jump at the offer as this will save you a lot of stress in meeting a new person, doing the initial shakara, getting to know him, accepting his proposal and then learning more things about him which might not be an easy process.
These are my thoughts as expressed in this article, I will love to read your take on the above subject as I know it differs from one person to the other .
Thank you for reading, I will be back soon.
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